Steadfast: Bitterness is a Choice

Steadfast: Bitterness is a Choice

Our Steadfast Devotional Series continues, exploring what it means to keep the faith and finish well over a lifetime. 

Reflecting on the events of the past week—remembering 9/11 and Charlie Kirk’s assassination on September 10, as well as hearing on our recent missions trip the story of an African missionary friend whose home was stolen—illuminated what I believe is a transformational truth:

Bitterness is a choice. We do not have to spend the remainder of our lives in bondage to the pain of what wounded us.

No One Chooses Loss

The victims of trauma and tragedy didn’t have a choice in what happened to them. 

No one does.

But living with the scars of loss and rehearsing the grievances that feed bitterness are not the same thing.

We cannot choose what happened to us. But we can choose what to do with it.

“Never forget” is a helpful mantra. But we have to remember in a way that empowers us to move forward—honestly and in a healing way.

Beware of the danger of the “root of bitterness” (Hebrews 12:15)—continually reliving what happened in a debilitating way that keeps us bound to the wound.

God Has the Final Word

Some things cannot be fixed.

Our loved ones who have died will not return to us in this life. Lost years cannot be recovered. Some relationships will never be restored. A stolen home cannot magically become “unstolen.”

Still, the God of the resurrection has the final word.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

—Romans 8:38–39

Evil does not have the last say. God can take even what brought destruction and redeem it.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

—Romans 8:28

By the grace of God, what hurt you does not have to ruin you. 

You get to choose, because God can transform even this.

Stay steadfast, my friend, and keep the faith.

Rob

P.S. I’ve wrestled with these themes in my songwriting and recordings. Two songs in particular—No Easy Answers and I Choose to Forgive—deal personally with loss, woundedness, forgiveness, faith, and hope. The links to both are below.

Listen to "I Choose To Forgive" 


A song about the choice to let go of resentment and bitterness and embrace the freedom of forgiveness. Ultimately, that choice is rooted in the example and grace of Jesus: “Father, forgive them.”


Listen to "No Easy Answers"

Some tragedies simply cannot be explained. This song wrestles honestly with suffering, grief, and questions that have no easy answers—and ultimately with the choice between love and bitterness, faith and hopelessness, hope and despair.

Listen to "Keep The Faith." The themes of the Steadfast devotional series are reflected in the songs I wrote for the album Keep the Faith — a six-song studio EP recorded with live musicians (and no AI !). These are scripture-based songs of resilience forged in seasons of trial and fragility, where doubt and deep longing turn to trust.

Take a moment to listen to "Keep The Faith" → [link]

ABOUT THE STEADFAST DEVOTIONAL SERIES: 

Since the beginning of this year, we have been exploring what it means to live with steadfast faith. Steadfastness is a character trait essential to growing in spiritual maturity. These companion essays include:

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